When the Old Meets the New

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Bliss Diva at 17-years-old, photo shoot with K. She was fucking fabulous.

I was given the name of Bliss Diva when I was seventeen years old.

At the time, my friend K and I were only really interested in doing one thing with our time together: play loud pop music while we made a mess in our art journals. The mess may have leaked out all over the floor of my bedroom, and I’m pretty sure glitter still caked that carpet until my dad replaced it a couple of years ago.

One night, in some sort of paint-and-energy-drink-induced insanity, we gave each other our new names. Mine sparked my first head-first dive into the blogging world, with a now-closed blog called Delicious Bliss. Since that initial deep swim in the waters of the blogging world, my writing has gone through a number of incarnations and websites, the one you are looking at now being the latest and, hopefully, the last.

For a long time, I gave up blogging. Life has a strange way of simultaneously confirming our greatest hopes and our greatest fears, sometimes at the same time, and the twisting paths I have walked have lead me away from the need to share my story publicly, back towards it, away again, and back again. It has been a struggle to find a center of stable, sustainable creative expression through all the fluctuations of the realities of life as Millennial.

After years of letting myself drift from place to place, I am now putting down roots.

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photo by Jennasea, circa 2016

With roots comes stability. And with stability comes the opportunity to be like a tree and spread my energy into all parts of myself and my life, my roots replenishing me while my many-varied branches sway in the breeze.

Strangely, this all has a feeling of coming full-circle. Though I am a far cry from the naive and excitable 17-year-old who doled out advice that ran along the lines of “if you’re sad, put glitter on everything and dance”–I find myself closer to her than ever before because, if she didn’t hold a wealth of knowledge and experience to back up her claims, she did hold a center of great optimism, passion, and determination. She is the Maiden-Self that my Mother-self needs so desperately, so I don’t take myself or life so seriously that I forget to have fun.

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A few months ago, channeling my inner Bliss Diva with colorful, mismatched clothes, and lipstick

From my current position of both stability and broadening horizons, I am reconnecting with my past self and integrating her blessings and her lessons into my present self that is faced with new challenges and new opportunities. I am still in my process of becoming, and at this point in my process, I am both Rebecca Faythe, mother and writer–and Bliss Diva, writer and witch.

And so I begin yet another labyrinthine journey into the crazy, wonderful world that I am blessed to walk in.

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