I began writing in my journal during a fit of anxiety about the future, intending only to affirmation-myself woo-woo-style out of it. It turned into a stream-of-consciousness about abundance. It’s part free-write, part affirmation, part magickal spell, part prayer. I have transcribed it here, with only minor corrections.
My mind and heart are open and working in harmony.
I think of actions and my open heart informs my thinking.
I know that to rely solely on my thinking is to remain always in fear.
I know that to rely solely on my feelings is to remain indecisive and fickle.
I know that to listen to my heart’s joys and pains and honor them, as well as listening my mind’s fears and logistics, and not favor one over the other but rather combine both and envelop them in the comforting and compassionate energy of my spirit, and to sit in stillness, in awake awareness of my thoughts and feelings —
is to remain in the flow of the current of my highest purpose.
I do not struggle against the current. I flow with it.
I breathe and realize the flow exists always within me. The flow is abundant.
I was never not abundant. Abundance has always been within me. Never have I starved permanently. Never have I thirsted permanently. Never have been unloved. [I am gloriously lucky to be able to say that, in this world.] When I have been hungry, I have been fed. When I have been parched, I have been give water. When I have struggled, I have been loved and comforted.
Abundance is not something I manifest, nor strive for, nor reason into, nor realize, nor feel my way into, nor scheme into — because it has never been, is not, and never will be separate from me. I am abundance. It drips from my pores and shines from my eyes, pours from my mouth and between my thighs, sings from my heart and flows in my veins.
I am abundance. The needs of myself and my loved ones has been, are, and will always be met. When safe housing is a need, it is given. When nourishment is needed, it is given. When clean water is needed, it is given. When love is needed, it is given. When strength is needed, it is given. When courage is needed, it is given. When creation is needed, it is given.**
The well of abundance that lives inseparable from me never runs dry. When I see others thirst, hunger, struggle, the abundance that is me gives water, nourishment, and love, and I find myself still abundant. Giving does not take away from my being. When I am given abundance in return, I overflow and flood abundance into my surroundings–abundance is infectious. Abundance begets abundance. Where this is scarcity, abundance pours in.
I am a garden. I am the seeds watered, I am the tender sprout and lush leaves and flavorful fruit and decay that is abundance in disguise, aromatic compost for new seeds. Abundance never ends. Abundance is the sun and rain working in harmony. Abundance is the mind and heart working in harmony. Abundance is awake awareness even in the perceived absence of harmony.
Abundance is flux and flow and never stagnant.
Abundance may rest but it never stagnates.
Abundance is the roaring rapids and the gentle serene flow and the giggling stream and the shimmering oceanic destination.
Abundance is me. Abundance is all around me.
Awareness of abundance starts in harmony.
My mind and heart are sun and rain.
They are in harmony.
I am in harmony.
I am awareness.
I am awareness of awareness.
I am abundance.
I am dance.
**The privilege I hold is a big factor, I know, in the abundance of safe housing, nourishing food, and clean water I have in my life. I am intersectional in the way that I am still below the poverty line (I make around $8000 every 12 months), but regardless of that fact, I hope to use the privilege I do hold in order to buy land and create a community that will help women who have been disadvantaged by the system. I type that goal here now as a tentative call to the Universe to place road signs in my path, directing me toward the opportunities that will aid me in achieving that goal. Because we all deserve the abundance of safe housing, nourishing food, and clean water. And I know that creating compassionate intentional community can make housing, food, and water equality happen.